Q: How involved is my loved one's doctor?

A: The nursing facility staff is in regular contact with your loved one's doctor. Family members are encouraged to keep in close touch with the physician themselves, but must remember that it is the nursing staff that will be carrying out the medical orders that come directly from the doctor. If you're not sure that something got passed on to your loved one's nurse, be sure and ask her about it.

Q: My loved one is supposed to take half a dozen pills at all different times of the day. Will someone make sure he keeps to his schedule?

A: Yes, you can rest assured that medications are monitored very strictly in the nursing facility, and that the medical staff is continually checking and double-checking medication schedules.

Q: Does the staff take everyone to group activities, or only those who express an interest? I know my mother-in-law would enjoy some of them, but I'm not sure she'll think to ask.

A: All residents able to attend activities will be encouraged to do so. In fact, the staff is required to have a personal plan of care for each resident that includes activities and programs. This plan of care will be personally tailored to your family member's physical and cognitive abilities. If your mother-in-law wishes, you can attend care planning meetings, usually held quarterly, and any group activities.

Q: Who will be taking my grandmother to the bathroom and how often? Will someone get her up at night or will she use a bedpan?

A: The facility maintains adequate staffing 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Members of that staff will continually check on your grandmother to monitor bathroom needs. At night, and depending on her condition, your grandmother may choose the bathroom or prefer a bedpan to getting out of bed. Some residents, of course, will require a bedpan.

Q: Who will do my father-in-law's hair, teeth and nails? Is that up to the family?

A: No, this kind of care is also strictly mandated by federal guidelines. Hygienic guidelines are very specific, and nursing facility staff are fully responsible for making sure your father-in-law's body, hair and teeth are clean.

Q: How frequently will my father be bathed, and by whom?

A: Your father's nurse should be able to answer this question for you but as a rule, residents are bathed once weekly, usually by an aide, but sometimes by a nurse. Individual needs may dictate a more frequent schedule, however, so check to see whether your father falls into this category.